Hearing my sister say it, I immediately believed that it was possible – happy crushing, the concept of liking someone without the emotional baggage of being rejected or expecting something to happen. She used it to describe her feelings towards a senior org-mate whom she admired for being adorably awkward. They don’t see each other often but that doesn’t matter, because when she does see him, it makes her day and when he’s gone, he’s gone.
But, of course, anything lifting such great burden must have a catch. For happy crushing it’s this – you’d only be able to achieve the full effect when you follow its rules.
1) Keep the label at bay.
Remember, he’s only a happy crush in your head. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t necessarily connect the two of you. It doesn’t even have to be used when referring to him. The label wasn’t made to give you any ideas.
2) Don’t tell anyone. Don’t even say it out loud.
When you declare that you like someone verbally, you’re more likely to grow fond of the person and of the feeling he invokes. Saying it makes it real. Sharing the knowledge makes it worse. It means that you’re asking for support about the matter and you’re getting way too attached for your own good.
3) Activate the feelings only when he is there.
What makes happy crushing work is its convenient feature that allows you to feel butterflies only in moments when your object of affection’s there. This lessens stress that can be induced by PEOt or post-experience overthinking. That’s if you get this rule right.
4) Don’t allow anything to linger.
When he’s gone, let him be. Don’t replay the moment over and over in your head. Don’t imagine any other scenarios that could happen when you meet again. And control your heart to stop liking him when he isn’t around.
5) Don’t ask about object of affection’s current relationship status.
For one, whether he’s single or taken, it shouldn’t matter. You aren’t looking for anything long term anyway. He’s an inspiration that cheers you up when you see him and that’s that. Knowing whether he has someone could hurt you and if it does hurt you, well honey, he might not just be a happy crush after all and that’s too complicated to discuss here.
6) Don’t stalk, and even check object of affection’s SNS profiles.
Close his Facebook profile because you don’t need any more reasons to like him. Superficial information is good; you don’t have to get too close. And don’t try to be at the same places he goes to, because there shouldn’t be a need to see him all the time.
7) Don’t invest on anything.
Scrap keepsakes. You don’t have to remember how it goes, how it feels like. Don’t do anything to make it permanent. Don’t think too much. Just let things happen; you don’t have to give anything up for him, to change your routine for him.
8) And if you’re a writer, don’t write about him.
No, he doesn’t have to be immortalized.
Get those right and the road to happy crushing will be a smooth sail. No worries indeed. 🙂