Just Checking-In: 030317

It’s been awhile… again. I know I haven’t been diligently writing or blogging lately (though I’ve had a lot of ideas to write about). Sorry about that. I’ve been busy processing stuff and going through mini-existential crises recently.

Anyway, despite life being a bit shaky right now, things are starting to look up. For one, I’m loving the sensation in being immersed in something entertaining. It makes me forget about the big deep stuff for a while.

These entertainment stuff are all listed below. They are my comfort things and I’m just thankful that I’m still able to enjoy because of them. (That’s one way to put it.)

READING – ‘All’s Well That Ends Well’ by William Shakespeare on Sparknotes

I know I should probably be reading the script before diving into the explanation of the theme and motifs but I don’t know. I’ve been into reading Sparknotes explanations lately. Yesterday, I read the one about the Hunchback of Notredame because I wanted to understand the symbolism behind the plot, and it was a great way to learn and kill time.

LISTENING – JJY and Roy Kim!

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Jung Joon Young’s been one of the stars that I’m following lately. He became known by joining a singing contest in Korea.

One of his fellow contestants turned chingu was Roy Kim who became the grand winner of the competition. They’ve covered a couple of songs like ‘Falling Slowly’, ‘Creep’ and ‘Becoming Dust’. (I’ve been listening to all three!)

Right now, ‘Becoming Dust’ is on repeat in my player and I even downloaded a karaoke video just so I could learn to sing it. It’s a rock rendition of the ballad but surprisingly, I’m really loving it!

WATCHING – Where do I begin with this segment? I don’t even know. I think I may be watching too many things.

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If I must share, I’m currently watching two Kdramas: Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and My Introverted Boss. After Hwarang and Reply 1988 where I was either tense or crying every episode, I decided to go with light fluffy dramas this time. I’m not expecting much plot-wise for both dramas. I just really need a breather right now.

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For variety shows, I’m still into 1 Night 2 Days. I decided to watch it from the very first episode of season three and now I’m at the non possession episode. (I love the cast so much and I have to admit that when I watch the episode of Joo Hyuk leaving, I’ll die inside.)

FEELING – Now that I’ve written about all of that, I feel really happy inside. (And I just want to go home and immerse myself in that happy world.)

THINKING – About how I should spend my time this afternoon. I want to be both chill and productive.

CRAVING – for sleep in the bus.

PRAYING – that all the challenges of the coming week will be surmounted.

NEEDING – a run or a solemn moment in church. I’ve been needing that for a while now.

LOVING – my family. They’ve always made me feel like I’m going to be okay.

This is a love letter.

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Photo credits: az616578.vo.msecnd.net

Self,

There are parts of ourselves we have broken by trying too hard. Our tendons are hanging from our wrists, exposed like guts we painted on our chest. Our nails, half-bitten, have turned a dirty shade of yellow for having been kept too long under the bed. Our feet, calloused and soggy, no longer smell like feet should.

We trudge on. But as we go, we prove to be collateral damage to the people closest to us. The sharp edges of our bones slash through the void, allowing darkness to seep in. And as the night closes in, we feel them shaking. Everyone chokes on the cold and on the mistakes we’ve made when our eyes were too sullen to stay open.

Truth is, we have lost ourselves and the space where we can be honest. Air has become too salty to share with people crowding our bed so we rock ourselves to sleep on the floor instead. Do you still recognize our fingers?

Younger, we used to climb walls to reach the stars on the ceiling. Mama would reprimand us for making so much noise, but a broken nose was better than everything that came crashing down years later. We used to be so beautiful.

Perhaps, it is time for us to retreat. This is not the time to prove ourselves wrong about ourselves.

There are places that take pieces of us until we have none of ourselves left. To resist can be troublesome. We are tired, rightfully so, and we need to take a break from this emptiness too.

Sometimes, the quiet allows healing. And we need to remember what it means to be whole before we venture out again.

Self

Living in Makati

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What Makati feels to me

A friend PM-ed me earlier, asking me about the pros and cons of living in Makati. I thought I’d list it down for her and for anyone wanting to give this place a try.

Just a backgrounder: I’m a fresh grad from Batangas. I had to move here because of my job. It’s just been four months+ since I’ve been here on my own (so I’m not really sure if my opinions are valid or anything). I did intern at companies here November last year till March but I stayed in Pasay with my cousin. I’m not sure if that counts as something.

Anyway, here’s my list. It’s from a adulting millennial struggling to build a career in the city’s perspective:

Pros:

  1. You’d meet really intelligent, career-driven, determined and well-connected people. They can teach you a lot and can even challenge you to better yourself.
  2. Shopping and grocery-wise, there are a lot of options. If you can afford it, you can experiment on the food want to eat and the stuff you want to buy.
  3. There are many ways to treat yourself. Museums, coffee shops, malls and leisure spots are very accessible and abound.
  4. You’d learn to walk faster.
  5. You’d learn to be fashion-forward and break out of the box. People here, even those in business sectors, are far from looking uptight and they’d inspire you to step up your wardrobe game.
  6. I’d say Makati is cleaner, than other places in Metro Manila.
  7. You’ll have politics for lunch (which I realize, is a good thing.) Being at the capital, business capital to be more precise, forces you to be in the know and empowers you to be involved. You’ll feel like you have a say in things.
  8. Possibilities are everywhere. Here, you’ll realize that you have so many options and you can dream.
  9. Makati has a way of making you feel important, like you’re actually doing something with your life.

Cons:

  1. Makati is not immune to Manila stench, filth, heat and traffic in general.
  2. It’s really hard to find low-cost decent places to stay in (at least in my case, it was).
  3. The prices of goods can be more expensive than those in the province.
  4. The commute can be confusing, especially being familliar with all the names of the streets, avenues… etc.
  5. You’d be tempted to buy everything, all the time. The same goes for travelling to places.
  6. It floods real bad.
  7. If you’re not a native, it’s hard to find a spot or safe place for you. It comes with homesickness and the adjustment period. Everywhere can feel too cramped or too busy.
  8. If you’re moving here alone, well, you’d have no one unless you make friends. (But of course, new friends won’t satisfy your need to be understood deeply.)
  9. You can never really fully relax.
  10. You have to be tough, especially when it comes to holding onto your principles or else, Imperial Makati can swallow you.
  11. Makati isn’t home.

At the end of the day, I think the bottomline will be dictated by how you feel. Whenever you move to some place, you need to be prepared that you will not really be prepared for it. It’s like having to set your universals on shaky ground. It’s being uprooted.

But if you’re really decided, just find one good reason to stay (and your job doesn’t count; it has to be something that really matters to you). If you are able to do that, living here will become easier.

Innovation Conference 2016

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One of the very few photos I have of me during the conference

During one of our staff meetings, my boss asked me to say a few words about my experience as the Project Manager of Innovation Conference 2016. For a second, I was shell-shocked because I didn’t know how to put all my thoughts and emotions into words. There were so many moments and lessons playing around in my head, and it was almost impossible to say anything that gave it justice. It meant a lot to me.

Just a backgrounder: Ever since last July, I began working for Fiera de Manila, Inc. as a Marketing Assistant/Project Manager. Innovation Conference was a project turned over to me and was essentially, the first project I handled.

Innovation Conference 2016 was a prestigious learning event attended by C-level professionals. It was a big deal, to say the least, and I was a newbie to the industry, a potato. (Half of the time I was working on it, I tried not to dwell on the gravity of my responsibility so I could continue functioning.)

I learned a lot from this experience. Here are some of the lessons I got for almost three months of working on this project:

  1. Make mistakes but never the same mistake twice. Though I had experiences with organizing stuff in school, I didn’t really have an industry benchmark to guide me. I basically had little to no knowledge of what to do, so naturally, I did some things wrong. It took bravery to swallow reprimands, honestly, but once I got over that, I was able to focus on the task at hand and was able to learn.
  2. Have a team you can trust. I’m glad that I had the FMI team to back me up. They are veterans at what they do and they’re willing to help whenever I need it. I can also always ask questions about things I don’t know how to do yet and they won’t judge or laugh at my innocence.
  3. Nothing goes perfectly in events. Shit happens. Be flexible enough to accommodate the changes. (You will be driven insane otherwise.)
  4. At the end of the day, whatever happens, the event will always end. (Words of wisdom from my dad; mah mantra.)

I’m glad I was trusted with this project. It exhausted me but the stress was worth it.

Here’s to more good experiences!